Friday, February 29, 2008


SysAdmin guy manages to screw up everything he touches. A simple remote access program that we use to log in from home. It's simple. I have installed and configured it at least 40 times since I have been here. He installs it on his PC and it is totally screwed up.

Seriously. I don't know what his problem is! I literally fix stuff that he messes up EVERY DAY. Little things like this, usually not catastrophic things. But he occassionally screws up things that are serious and affect, oh, everyone in the building.

I wishwishwishwishwishwish I could do something about him. But he is entering his 5th month here (probation lasts for 6 months) and I am positive he is not going anywhere. Boss guy likes him and doesn't know enough technically to know how sub-standard this guy really is.

We have had no less than three meetings where we have discussed things that we have to discuss. The same list of things. Three times. We talk about the list and say that we have to prioritize the list so that we can start tackling the projects. We have done it in three separate meetings. I feel like I am insane in these meetings. But hey, I'm not the boss. I have chosen a few of the projects and will do some legwork on them and suddenly have it prepared at a meeting soon. So I am doing my part to be impressive and proactive. But I just don't understand how this shit flies day after day. It's not even a private corp!

It's stunning, what a screw up this guy is.

EDIT: My co-worker and I have decided that he "got hit by the stupid stick" this morning. There are some days when he is dumber than others and I am so happy that I am not the only one to think so!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

blog post

I have been meaning to post every day this week. But after I leave work, I forget every five minutes after I get home. I get on my computer, then I go to the bathroom and forget. Then I get back on the computer, then I go up to make dinner and forget. Then I eat dinner and watch whatever show I am watching that night (American Idol, of late) and forget. And then it's time for bed, I go to turn off the computer and I have forgotten all night to post. And I am not going to START posting at 11:30 or 12:00. I have done that a lot, but I have to get to bed earlier because I am constantly dragging my butt out of bed in the mornings tired as hell.

Not that I have much to post about anyways. There is nothing that I want to post about going on right now. My medication is driving me batty (agitated, shaky hands and ear ringing) and I am going to talk to the doc about changing it (after 2 weeks of the higher dosage). My brother has pissed me off to the point where I am ready to be really rude to him in general, as well as tell him where he can shove it. I am itching for spring to get here already - I want to open my windows and sliding door. And I am officially boycotting laundry until I get a new washing machine, which should be any day now (e-file be praised!)

That's about it. Here are some funny links that you need to go visit and look at/read/see:

Jimmy Kimmel clip that is NOT safe for work!
Dooce's new dog making crazy dog noises

Have a nice day.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Prissiest dog ever!

The pooch pictured below is, without question, the prissiest dog in history. Yesterday it snowed and then freezing rain fell on the snow for another several hours. So there is this nice white covering everywhere, but it is crusted over so that when you walk on it, it breaks and crunches loudly.

So we go out to get the mail. It's nasty out, so I am thinking I will spare the dogs the whole walk and just get them out on the lawn to do their business. They both pee. Rogue CLEARLY has to poop (we call it extendo-butt) but she is just walking around on the ice crust, falling through with every step and hating it, looking desperately for a place to poop, but not settling on one. We are out there for 20 minutes and nothing! So we go back inside, I throw on the snow boots, put on their little coats and we go for the full walk. Stormy is all excited, she loves being outside, almost no matter what the weather. Rogue is clearly on a mission, she is trotting down the block to "the spot"; the spot where we pretty much always poop. However, the whole world is covered with this same crusty snow stuff. Everywhere. She walks on one lawn and then another and another and finds it everywhere. Well, she is having none of this and will NOT settle on a place to poop. We are out there another 25 minutes before she finally agrees to poop! She just gets up on a lawn and does it, after realizing that, sheesh, this stuff is everywhere!!

We go back inside and get treats. Most exhausting walk ever. I never thought I would have to be a cheerleader for my dog to poop!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Half day for me - woot!

I had already planned to leave work early if the snow actually picked up the way the news said it would. Well, it did and the city was telling employers to let non-essential personnel leave work. And there was a parking ban as of 12:00 noon in the city, so Brown sent out an e-mail to all staff and faculty that people could go home. I left at 1:00 pm and got home in a reasonable time, no traffic or anything. Fortunately, the way I traveled I didn't hit any accidents either. The roads weren't great, but I got home fine.

It was pretty cool for a change to have something to be happy about related to work. No stress, no pressure, just being allowed to go home. Yay!

So I came home and went to the store with my sweetie for weekly food shopping. After that, I took a nice nap with my puppies in the warm bed. Mmmmmm.

There was a possibilty of dinner with friends, but of course, the snow got in the way of that. No problem. A nice night vegging out at home was definitely satisfactory after this week. :-)

Anyway, hitting the sack now.

EDIT: Just took the dogs out for the final time tonight. This is the WORST kind of weather! YUCK! Started this morning as light fluffy snow and then stopped and then picked up again around noon as more fluffy snow, but LOTS of it. Got home and was able to shovel simply by pushing it with the shovel, it was so fluffy. Got out of the supermarket and it was freezing rain. I think it has been doing that since then. So now all the snow is still there, but it is all crusted over with ice. And everything else is covered in a layer of ice. GREAT! YUK!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Cough, cough, cough...

Worked from home yesterday. I have never gotten "officially" sanctioned to do this, but I have never heard anything negative about it either, and the subject has come up with boss guy before (and as they say, it is easier to apologize than to ask permission). They would have sent me home anyway. I was coughing my head off and I was still so tired. Still am. I napped between checking my e-mail and fixing issues remotely. It was nice to work from my bed surrounded by warm puppies. :-)

This chest cold just came out of nowhere though. Very odd. I know some people here at work are sick. But I really don't know where I got this from. Fortunately, I am getting better already. Thanks to modern pharmaceuticals. Damn them.

So I think that in addition to being a member of Blog365 I will be re-joining NaBloPoMo, because Eden, who started NaBloPoMo after her love for NaNoWriMo, has made it a monthly affair! I will remain a member of Blog365, but will be trying to take it in monthly chunks since I have already failed miserably at blogging every day. Maybe taking just one month at a time will help my track record. And the chance for fabulous prizes - I just can't pass it up!

I hate all things financial and money related. I hate paychecks, having to work for one, getting paid, bills, expenses, budgets, monthly, weekly and quarterly payments, income tax, sales tax, any kind of tax. 'Nuff said. Except one more thing. I think we middle-middle class people (and everyone less fortunate) should band together and stage a socialist uprising starting in L.A.! The wealth of ridiculously rich celebrities, celebutantes, "real housewives", multi-millionaires, politicians, oil tycoons and such, should be re-distributed to everyone struggling through. I try not to think about it because it makes me so mad. But I just thought I'd say it and get it out there.

Tonight I go back to the trusty laundromat to wash the first of several loads of wash I have to do over the next 3-4 days. The poop incidents of last week have created a large pile of linens and blankets that need to be decontaminated. But I just can't do it all in one trip, much as I would like to. The logistics of the laundromat are entirely different when you are only WASHING stuff there. This is because the load is three times heavier when you carry it out than when you went in. Also, my dryer will only do one load at a time, so really it's impractical to have a wet washload (or 4) sitting there marinating while one is drying. One would say, why don't you just dry your laundry there as well? YIKES, the cost!!! When I had my apartment in Derry just a few short years ago (6 to be exact) a load of laundry - washed and dried - was $5 bucks. These were small to average sized washers, not large ones, so you could only do a small regular load (in jeans terms, about 6 or 7 pairs.) At the laundromat, it is $4 bucks to do ONE WASHLOAD in the mid-sized machine! The small one is $3.25 and the super large one is $6.50. I have not even checked the dryer costs. This is crazy! If you saved your laundromat money for half a year you could buy at least a washer if not both a washer AND a dryer. It's just ridiculous. Just having to pay for it out-of-pocket gets me shaking my head and freaking out at the cost.

Okay, I am sensing a theme, so I think I better stop now or risk people telling me to shut up!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

"white-knuckling" it through this week...

Posted to my LJ on Feb. 15th, 2008 at 11:45 PM

I have had my head down making my way through this week a step at a time. It really does feel like weeks since I wrote that post Tuesday. Saw my doc Tuesday and instead of trying a different med, we are upping the dose for a test period to see if anything changes. Saw my therapist that night. I need to start journaling (privately, sorry) about my sessions so I actually THINK about things during the week. I am realizing that I have this awful habit of talking about stuff that's important and then I don't think about it again until 5 minutes before my next appointment. I do it outside of therapy and have for years. My family did it all the time. Not insidiously, like the white elephant in the room kind of not dealing with it. Just going on and kind of rolling over it like roadkill. Yep, that's the metaphor.

SysAdmin guy at work has been less outright annoying this week. I am taking it at face value. Is he trying to get along better with me and my co-worker? Or is he actually being slightly more personable? Who can tell - the man has the personality of a bag of hair.

I got to configure new laptops for other people this week. I realized I am kind of annoyed that everyone else in IT is getting one except me and my co-worker.

Manager guy was pretty much not around all week because he was in a conference room with a guy from our software vendor all week. That was nice. I hate having two bosses. Fortunately, they don't really give me conflicting instruction, but sometimes the both tell me to do the same thing, which is very annoying. Yes, I know. My other boss already told me.

This week was filled with puppy poop and puppy vomit. My pooches were both not feeling well and took it out on the house. I shall be shampooing some carpet as soon as I am able (again, just did it last week before we got the house appraised.)

The appraiser came Wednesday morning. After it SNOWED THREE INCHES overnight. Which is good, because all the leaves on the lawn were covered. It's good she was not too late, because just an hour after she came, it began POURING RAIN for the rest of the day, melting all the snow. At work, we had that rain on the roof noise all afternoon.

Thursday began the poop explosion, with Storm starting off the poop-splosion. The next morning, she seemed better and ate normally. Then it was Rogue's turn. Coming home to it was not fun for my sweetie. Not at all. Then Thursday night (that would be last night) Storm began the vomiting. She did not eat dinner at all, and began vomiting at about 6:30 and proceeded to do so about 8 times througout the night. She got very listless and lethargic and couldn't get comfortable to sleep for hours at a time. So I was up with her on my chest for several hours last night, stroking her fur, trying to comfort her a little. Then this morning, more diarrhea and so it was time to go to the vet. I could not get her an appointment at my regular vet, so I went to the Emergency Animal Hospital (and I am very happy there IS one here...) and asked the attendant what she thought (after finding out that just being SEEN is over $100 dollars!) We talked about it and she thought she would be okay and was not in an emergency state. So I called my vet and got on the waiting list to go in later today. As it turned out, she slept a few hours and then my sweetie called me and told me she was almost good as new. Playing with Rogue, jumping around the room, very interested in her food again...YAY!!! So I cancelled the appointment, we don't need to go unless she has a relapse.

The kicker to all this poop and vomit is that our washing machine is busted and we are waiting for the tax return to get a new one. So we will have to haul almost all of the bedclothes in the house to the laundromat to get washed! \m/

Went to work and had a nutty crazy day. Then came home and had to yell at the mortgage company for poor record keeping.

And to top it all off, I am getting sick. I have a cough, my chest feels tight and I have been getting achier (more achy?) since I got home. My eyes feel hot and that probably means I have a fever.

This week has been long. Very long.

Stealing from Xander - 10 worst bands ever

Posted to my LJ on Feb. 11th, 2008 at 1:32 PM

My buddy bobbymcscooter posted about his 10 worst bands, and it inspired me to write my own. So here it is...

The 10 worst bands - in my humble opinion

#10) Jack Johnson – His first song (“Flake”) was sort of neat because it was different and a little folky, but alternative. And then every single song after that sounded EXACTLY THE SAME! That same annoying little acoustic guitar riff. Shows what having a friend like Ben Harper in the music biz can do for you.

#9) Limp Bizkit – Two words: Fred Durst. One of the most clueless and egomaniacal people in music. He did it all for the nookie. That says it all. Too bad Wes Borland got caught in that web.

#8) Nickelback – I have liked a few of their songs, but I am almost immediately overwhelmed by their mediocrity; their formulaic, crowd-pleasing melodies and simplistic lyrics. They sing about nothing. And when they DO sing about something (“If Everyone Cared”) it’s utterly trite! Chad Kroeger is killing pop music singlehandedly.

#7) Starship – What did they think, third name change is a charm?! All you have to do is listen to “We Built This City” or “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”. Horrible 80’s crap!

#6) Damn Yankees – The “supergroup” featuring Ted Nugent, Tommy Shaw of Styx and…that other guy. The One-Hit Wonder Supergroup. They only did one song that got any airplay and it was only because there was a video with it and people were just curious about what these three looked like together.

#5) Warrant – Jani Lane. Cherry Pie. Early 90’s hair band fluff. Fake metal.

#4) 311 – I can’t even take a couple of notes of these guys before clicking the button to change the station. So very blah. Mellow pseudo-reggae. Dell said it best when mocking the song “Come Original”: “Not original, no we are not original…”

#3) Poison – Come on. Do I even have to explain why? They were a glam makeup band. Bret Michaels sings through his nose and is breathy and over-dramatic. “Every Rose Has It’s Thorns” makes me want to vomit every time I hear it. And an extra strike against him because ‘Rock of Love’ was a sham and it is now in its second season.

#2) Savatage/Trans-Siberian Orchestra – Savatage was a theatre-rock band, making self-proclaimed rock-operas. Just writing that sentence makes my skim crawl! Well one of the two founding brothers was killed and the other rejoined the band and kept it going, even though the dead brother was the soul of the band. They wrote “Christmas Eve Sarajevo 12/24” and put it on a their second rock opera album called “Dead Winter Dead”. The song was a huge hit and so they wrote the rest of an album and recorded it with an orchestra. To sum it all up, they had more success as a Christmas-themed orchestra than as a cheesy theatre-rock metal band. So Savatage is no more. I can’t stand their music, either the band or the orchestra. Ironically, my ex-husband is a HUGE fan. Any correlation there? I wonder….

#1) Kanye West – I cannot put into words the intense dislike I have for him. I know technically he is not a “band” but I had to list him, and list him as FIRST. He has such a huge chip on his shoulder, such a feeling of entitlement and self-importance. From the very moment he released his first album, critically acclaimed or not, he was saying in public that he was the best artist in the world. That, and the fact that he is a flaming racist just rubs me the wrong way. I don’t think his music sounds much different than a lot of other stuff that is coming out right now. He is not doing anything DIFFERENT. My vindication comes from country star Vince Gill, who last night when receiving his Grammy from Ringo Starr said to Kanye, who was in the front row, “I just had an award given to me by a Beatle. Have you had that happen yet, Kanye?” The whole audience cheered, much to my delight! Maybe someone else is hip to his ridiculous audacity and is getting tired of it too. I now love Vince Gill! I need to write him a love letter.

Honorable Mention: Red Hot Chili Peppers – They used to be good, back when they were on drugs (it’s sad but true.) They were also good when Dave Navarro joined them for one album - that they oddly enough barely acknowledge anymore, it’s like they disavow any connection to that album. I like Higher Ground. Of course, it’s a Stevie Wonder song, so they already had that going for them. I dunno. All their recent songs make no sense; they’re just rhyming nonsensical words sung in syncopation with trippy guitar parts. Woo. Big whoop. They annoy me. A lot.

Friday, February 08, 2008

meds suck

So I take Lexapro. And a little over a year ago, it began to lose its effectiveness. Or something. I had depression feelings. Not just feeling "down", but deep dark depressive feelings. They would last a couple of weeks and then, as inexplicably as they started, go away.

So I told my doc about this and she added Wellbutrin to my regimen. I have been taking this since November. Well, it ain't working. I still feel depressed. No more than I did, but it's a little different. Over my holiday break (my job has the very large benefit of being an educational institution, ipso facto, there are no students at school during the christmas/new years week; hence, we had it off) I pretty much hung out in bed the whole time. I didn't do the project of clearing out and reorganizing my basement. I didn't do the project of cleaning off my desk of the mountain (literally) of papers on it. I didn't do much of anything. This also holds true for most of my weekends. I do the stuff I have to do and then I sit around in bed with my puppies, napping and watching TV.

One might say I am just living the lap of luxury life. But that's really not it. If I were in TOTAL denial, I would agree with that. But I am not that good at fooling even myself.

I discussed this at therapy and was told that I should have more energy, more motivation and be able to drag my ass out of bed to do SOMETHING. The wellbutrin is not doing the trick. Called my doc this week and I need to go back to discuss other meds. There are at least four other meds I know about that I am sure we could try. I am hoping not to have to try them all.

I have been having some annoying side effects since I have been on the Wellbutrin. My hands shake - not a huge visible trembling shake. It's more annoying to me than visible to anyone else, because...well, I feel shaky. Also, this hard to describe feeling in or around my head. Clench your jaw muscles and make a face like you are cringing and that is sort of how it feels. There's a little bit of ear ringing and this weird feeling of my scalp being tense or pulled back. And additionally, if I have more than one caffeine drink in a day, the bouncy feeling verges on anxiety. A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G!

So I guess I should feel lucky that I have no other side effects, other than it not really doing anything positive for me. But now that I have called my doc about it, I am itching to get off this med. I will have to wait until at least Monday so I can call her back and make an appointment. Blah!

It has been eating at me for over a week and I just had to write about it. Apologies to everyone that I didn't say anything, including my sweetie. I have been trying to just deal with it.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

MY answers to 20 questions...

1. tell me something obvious about yourself.
I'm a 'big' girl.
2. tell me something about yourself that i don't know.
I'm finding this hard to answer, I will get back to it below...
3. what is your biggest fear?
Never being happy.
4. do you normally take the safe route or the shortcut?
I would have to say the safe route, sadly.
5. what is the one thing you want the most that you can't buy with money?
6. what is your most treasured possession?
My computer hard drive - because it contains volumes of memories and pictures from my life.
7. what is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do the most often?
Scratching cuts.
8. tell me something about you that I don't know.
My father's great-grandfather was a prolific painter and two of his paintings hang in the New York Historical Society.
9. tell me something about you that everybody knows.
I LOVE dogs.
10. what is your favorite lie to tell?
I hate lying. But the lie I use the most is "It's alright."
11. name something you have done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. are you the jealous type?
Not jealous with my sweetie. But I get jealous of what other people have or what they look like.
13. what is the 1 person, place or thing that you can never say no to?
My puppies and a plate of pancakes!
14. what is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
Stick by me even when I am being a giant pain in the ass.
15. if you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
Walk into boss guy's office and tell him exactly what I think of him, then do the same to SysAdmin guy, and then walk out the door of this place. That would be CRAZY!!! Because then I wouldn't have a JOB! And then I would have no MONEY!. And, a short time later, I would have no HOUSE! That would be Britney crazy! (Yeah, I said it!)
16. when was the last time you cried?
Less than 24 hours ago.
17. when was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
I can't remember - maybe at Atlas.
18. do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
I don't feel comfortable in public with my shirt ON!
19. tell me something embarrassing you did while drunk.
It's between two things:
1 - Was so drunk that I did not know my (now-ex)husband.
2 - Threw up on a highly respected Sales Rep after a company Christmas party (more specifically, on his Armani suit.)
20. if you post this in your journal, do you want me to answer it?
Blah blah - feel free to steal and use.

Monday, February 04, 2008!

I have days where I can tolerate my manager guy okay. He fuddles through the day and doesn't say much while he pokes around the network looking for stuff to fuck up.

Then there are days like today.

Today, while reviewing my time sheet, he asked me if they are supposed to pay me if I work over a certain number of hours PER DAY, or was it PER WEEK. He didn't ask PAYROLL, which is literally on the other side of my cubicle. He asked me.

Today in our weekly meeting he said that he set the calendar for requesting a laptop to AUTO-ACCEPT meeting requests. Because we have enough laptops to put one in every conference room (and 2 extra) he felt that my co-worker and I didn't need to look at and accept the meeting requests for laptops. He didn't ASK US...he just assumed.

Today, I discovered that a printer has been renamed on a print server. This is not a big deal except that everyone that uses that printer now has to delete the old one and re-add it to their printers. We have the typical gamut of users - very competent to totally inept. Of course, the ones that primarily use this printer are totally inept. So they FREAKED OUT when they could not print. I am positive it was manager guy. And he didn't bother to TELL ANYONE. I assume from the name change that he named it something that he finds easier.

We have an issue here that is taking WAY too long to resolve and needs escalation from a manager to get cooperation from the main IT department on it. So he ASKS ME what I think we should do next.

What the goddamn fuck?!

Why do I work FOR this guy?! Why do I make LESS MONEY than he does?!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Two words - PUPPY BOWL!!

Okay, so I am a geek. We all know this. But I am also a dog lover. I think the best programming addition in the past few years is Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl, which starts at 3:00 pm on Superbowl Sunday and goes until 3:00 am. Well, they keep replaying it all day; it's 3 hours long. What is the Puppy Bowl, you ask? It is three hours of puppies playing in a mini football stadium complete with toys, waterbowl cam, instant replays, puppy substitutions, sparse commentary and Kitten Halftime!!

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna watch the actual Superbowl. But this is, by far, my favorite part of today. It's sickeningly cute, totally saccharine, mindless adorable TV. I totally love it! It makes me giggle and smile and exclaim stuff about different puppies to my sweetie, who is decidedly NOT watching it.

Good stuff!

p.s. You can buy it on DVD! Heh.

Friday, February 01, 2008

B.E.A.R. Day! \m/

Today is Brown Employee Appreciation and Recognition Day! What does this mean for me? An hour long, boring presentation honoring people who go above and beyond (some of whom I actually know and will applaud for) and recognizing the crazy people who have been here for 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35 and yes, 40 years!

But after the boring-ness, there is food. Free food. Not just free food - free shrimp cocktail! Huge plump shrimp in all their cocktail saucy glory! Other stuff too that was good last year, but the shrimp was a standout because there were TONS of them and they were HUGE! I go to sit patiently as I wait for the hors d'ouvres wait people to come out with the trays. Woot!

And no, I did NOT eat lunch. I was prepared for this! :-)