I think it's hard for non-techies to answer this question because I could ask it by including all the technical details. But I will ask it anyway, without all the techie info.
I tell our database administrator (new character here in my LJ) that I need some info from him because I have to do some server maintenance and then when he replies, he tells me the server needs some maintenance. Not in so many words, but that is the short, non-techie version.
Am I overreacting to get tired of these damn people treating me like I am an idiot? Am I reading too much into what he said to me? Without knowing the guy, you are going to answer that maybe he was being nice and just trying to make suggestions. But it's not like that in IT. IT people are competitive and conceited. They all think they know more than each other. This guy is not super pompous, but he does have a chip on his shoulder. He is somewhat of a know-it-all when it comes to the db he works on, because he worked on this same db at his last job. He talks about that incessantly, "at (other job) we did this, and we did that, and we did this other thing." It drives people here batty. So he does come off like a know-it-all. He came back to me the other day after I FORWARDED a warning email that I received from our IT Security group about a phishing e-mail. It had clickable links in it that were active (on the phishing e-mail itself). It came to me like that, and I sent it out like that. Well, you weren't supposed to click on the links, and the e-mail stated that...IN CAPITALS...TWICE!!! Five minutes after I send the e-mail, he comes over and tells me that the e-mail I just sent has clickable links and that maybe I should have made the links inactive before sending the e-mail. Heh heh. He was chuckling, like heh, heh, oh, duh, you probably should have thought about that first, heh heh. It was like a condescending, pat on the head kind of comment to me. This is the same thing.
I am so goddamn sick of that shit. I don't think I come off as stupid or not knowing what I am talking about. I don't engage in deep conversation about my job and what I do every day with him or my bosses. But I think merely in performing my work, they should be able to gather than I am competent and intelligent and that I understand what I am doing and maybe even more than just what I am doing. Why the hell would I apply to be the System Administrator if I didn't think I had the ability and knowledge to do the job?!
I *LOVE* the people here. LOVE them. CAPITAL L-O-V-E love. The people I work for here (not my bosses; my users, my "customers") are the best group of people I have ever worked for in my life. Real people with real lives, who are mature and understanding and personable and real and not fake and are friendly and talkative and understanding. REAL people. GOOD people. I get thanked for doing my job every day here by the people I work for. I am appreciated, liked, joked with, talked with, asked about, waved hi to. They are nice people. So some of the frustration that I have with my bosses gets mitigated by the great people here.
Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I am hyper-sensitive to being told what to do when I already know what to do. It always makes me feel like the person telling me what to do believes I don't know already. I don't mind with tasks. Assign me a task, sure, I will do it, no problem. But start listing the steps I need to take to accomplish this task when I have not asked for such assistance and I begin to think you think I am an idiot! Similarly, I take action items away from a meeting. Don't begin following up with me on them immediately, because it makes me feel like you don't trust me to get my damn work done! I can LET YOU KNOW when I am done with the assigned tasks, really, I can. I know they are important and need to get done as soon as I can. I don't ask for help much, but when I do, you will know that I really need help!
So I am not sure if I just have to bite the bullet and deal with this stuff (well, yes, I DO have to just deal with it,) or whether I am JUSTIFIED in feeling this way about it all. Am I just being "sensitive Linda"? Or would you also get as frustrated? I just need to feel validated; That it's okay to get pissed off and frustrated; that they are being assholes. I would hate to hear (but will listen if it's the answer) that I am just being reactionary and that they just mean well and are doing their jobs. I should be thankful for the direction and instruction I am being given and thank them for the opportunity. Eeeuuuccchhhhhh! It makes me want to vomit just WRITING it!!