To: Anonymous LJ Commenter

Cross posting from my LiveJournal. Sure this is specifically limited to my LiveJournal, but I have not put up a new post in a little while, so I thought I would add it here.

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This post is directed towards the anonymous commenter that is plaguing me. Recently, I posted on my friend Mick's LJ and this person chose to post back laughing at one of my answers to the questions. When I asked what was funny, they made a jab at my weight. This person obviously knows me, is making fun of me and chooses not to reveal themself to me by name. They are commenting anonymously, without logging into LJ. So either they don't have an LJ, or they are choosing to remain anonymous.

Well, come on out, you fucking loser coward! If we used to be friends, we certainly aren't anymore, so at least I will know who the fuck it is that is talking about me behind my back. I NEVER engage in this sort of behavior, ever. And I don't deserve it myself. If I don't like someone, I either stop talking to them and no longer deal with them - unless I have to and then I am polite and brief - or I let them know to their face that I am done with them. This rarely occurs because frankly I don't often disagree so harshly with people that I feel the need to tell them off to their face. I am mostly just fine leaving them to their lives and going on with mine.

But apparently, whoever you are, you feel the need to make comments on mine, but not let me know who you are. This is the pinnacle of cowardice. Confrontation, but not really. Because you get to hide behind your anonymity and not own up to who you are.

Here are some gems that they have posted in my LiveJournal:

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From THIS POST:

(Anonymous)
2006-11-20 05:55 pm
Discrimination against obesity? Businesses make what sells so they can make a profit. They don't make cute fashinable clothes for people who are fat because most fat people are not stylish. They are slobs who wear clothes with elastic waistbands. Stylish people care about how they look and take care of themselves. Really fat people do not. Handicapped people are discriminated against, people who have lost limbs or were born deficient. Minorities are discriminated against, people who were born a certain color. You can't claim discrimination as a fat person because it is your choice to be fat. You are fat because of the choices you make. I can fit into a Small because I spend time at the gym after work every weekday becuase I wanted to fit into a Small. You can find time if you really want t stop being fat. I have a long day at work every day and then an hour commute and have to make dinner for my family, and watch two kids until they get put to bed. Before I would sit around and watch TV for an hour each night or surf the web or talk on the phone. I made a choice to give up some of my relaxing time to drop the weight. The only person discriminating against you is yourself.

And from THIS POST:
(Anonymous)
2006-05-23 11:36 am
Damn! Get back in the gym before you sprain your ankle getting out of bed, Jay-style! ;)

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And then there was this one from THIS POST, clearly indicating that you know me and know my other half:

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(Anonymous)
2006-11-28 11:33 am
I hope his arm gets better before the party in Boston this weekend!

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Obviously, this comment was not mean. But it's clear that you know me and still refuse to let me know who the hell you are.

So basically, I am tired of this crap and want to just get this out in the open. Bad enough I was banned from commenting on who I thought was a friend's LJ. This bullshit is just that, BULLSHIT. Let's get this out in the open, shall we?

Controversial posting

So, I am going to post about depression. This post is protected because I don't need strangers prying into and commenting about my personal issues.

The two articles linked in this post, which I have lifted from the website of the illustrious Dooce (read her site if you a)like to laugh, b) have or have had a small child, c) appreciate bluntness and bizarre observations, or d) like dogs) are two of the best personal accounts of depression and what it feels like that I have read. I have read (or started to read) many books on the subject. I have been to counseling, though I am not seeing a therapist at the moment. I began taking antidepressant medication about 3 1/2 years ago (or so). My moods were really out of control and I would get very upset very quickly (either angry or crying). I was under a tremendous amount of stress at the time, which exacerbated things a lot. The combination of taking the meds along with getting my birth control pill adjusted so that I get my period only 4 times a year (seasonale is the best birth control pill EVER!!!) helped a lot and my moods are mostly settled. Note: the second thing is because I get some really heavy duty PMS based moodiness - bizarre thoughts, enhanced moods, feeling "weird" - PLUS physical PMS symptoms as well.

I have never experienced the "numb", or "dull" feeling that some people who have been on antidepressants describe. I certainly do not feel that way now and have not since I have been on meds.

I was very hesitant to go on meds for one large reason - my mother. My mother has issues. ADD, some OCD, mildly bi-polar, depressive. She has been on meds for several years now. She doesn't acknowledge her conditions as illnesses, never has. It's just "how she is, okay?" She is hard to get along with and it's a crap shoot as to how she will be when you talk to her or see her. Most of the time her world revolves around her. Anyway, I digress...the point is this. I don't want to become her. If I thought I was too much like her, I don't know what I would do. Leave normal society and go be a hermit somewhere. NOT subject the world to me, to that. So, for me, going on meds was just another step towards being like my mother.

But the meds have helped ME and things in MY LIFE, so now I have owned that part of it and there is none of that trepidation any longer.

Why am I talking about all of this? Because I need other people to know. I know some people who have dealt with depression, and some people who have never had to really experience this lovely miasma. It is beyond difficult to explain to someone who does not understand how this is, what it is like, how it feels...and most important WHY. Not why do I have it...WHY can't I get over it, why do I STILL feel this way, WHY can't I just move on.

Please read these two articles and try to understand WHY.

Article #1
Article #2